The Stress of Too Many Choices

Today I became completely overwhelmed (and quite stressed) by too many choices, and thus too many decisions to make. From 2010-2013, I was privileged to teach a class at Penn State called Action Methods for Stress Management (KINES082). One of the concepts we learn in this class is that in U.S. culture, we actually derive quite a bit of stress from having too many choices.

Think about it: we have a myriad of choices we can or need to make on a weekly, daily or potentially hourly basis. Some of which are very important, while others are very mundane: which bank should I choose? which doctor? which cereal? What sport should I encourage in my child? What club should I join at Penn State? What class should I take? and on and on. Having variety is one of the great advantages of living in an affluent and free society. Surprisingly, it can also be one of the drawbacks.

My husband was in the Peace Corps in Paraguay for two years and I lived there with him for 7 months. Rural Paraguay is NOT a place of abundant choices. Yet, I felt the most content and stress-free in my life while living there. With fewer consumer goods to care for, I had less to fix or clean. With limited options for entertainment, my choices were often made for me. With virtually no grocery store to roam in, the food available at the corner market and what we grew ourselves would suffice.

With too many choices to face, our brains become simply overloaded. What is the scientific recommendation? Literally take a mental vacation: read a novel or magazine, daydream, take a walk in the woods. It works. It gives our brains time to discharge all the frenzied mental activity and reset itself to a more restful place.

By mid-day I had become completely frazzled and had to take my own advice: I took a break and ventured off to my special spot at Shingletown Gap. One hour was all I had. Sitting next to the tumbling stream, with only the sound of the wind, the water, I could feel my own breathing.

The brief respite enabled me to recalibrate; to re-establish my own list of true priorities. I gathered the space I needed to later become truly vulnerable with my family and have a little breakdown of tears (which my husband calls a break-open). At the same time, my walk gave me a sense of gratitude for all the options that exist in this society. From a more grounded place, I can say no thank you to some, and gleefully accept others.

The Power of a small group of committed citizens: the birth of Project H.O.P.E.

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In fall of 2005, I was asked to teach a class called Applied Sociology and I intended to take the title literally. Each week, I asked myself, how can I get these 15 college students more hands-on involvement in the local community? This course focused on how to assess the health and needs of a community, and how to attempt to fulfill their needs.

One evening, I was sitting down to meditate. I had a pen and paper nearby as I usually do to capture insights, or more realistically, to write down a to-do list, so I can actually relax into meditation. I realized before closing my eyes, that I did have a question on my mind, so I simply posed that question: “What can I do with my class tomorrow?” I was truly only focused on the next day’s class, and was unprepared for what happened next.

When I closed my eyes, I literally saw Project H.O.P.E. (helping other people and the earth) unfold before me. I saw my class go to our little local Catholic school (St. Michael School) and conduct interviews: asking students, faculty, and staff about what improvements they would like to see in their school. I then saw us and many others creating a beautiful garden in the front of the school, fixing up the playground, and painting the inside hallways; just simply beautifying a school that did have the extra resources to do so on their own.

My immediate reaction was to say, “Have you lost your mind? I am not doing all this!” But it quickly became clear to me that I would not be doing anything; I just needed to facilitate the process and let it unfold as planned. Moreover, I would have to believe in the power of a “small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” (--Margaret Mead)

I still did not intend to follow through on this ‘crazy’ idea. In fact, I completely dismissed it as unrealistic. However, I did take my class to St. Michael School that week to conduct the interviews and outside analysis for our assessment assignment. When we returned to our class room to debrief the exercise, I was utterly astonished by MY students’ reaction. The first words out of their mouths were, “Dr. D, we HAVE to DO this project! We can’t just go there and get their hopes up and not follow through!” Now is when I began to realize that the divinely-inspired plan I saw in meditation was going to unfold whether I wanted it to or not.

I will never forget that day in the classroom: their eagerness was contagious! They began to brainstorm ideas at once and we had the entire year’s worth of work fleshed during that one class session.

Our intention was to build community relations between our college and their grade school; beautify their school with gardens, murals and playground improvements; and “Pay it Forward” by partnering with the grade school to raise money for another Catholic school in Mississippi that had been entirely wiped out by Hurricane Katrina.

By the end of the day, we had our Kick-off party planned. Within three weeks, we were going to have an ice-cream party at their school, and unfold our ideas for the project. I will never forget Carla getting on her phone right there in the classroom to call Vale Wood Dairy about donating all the ice cream we would need for our event. (I can still see Carly, Moe, and Renee dishing out ice cream that day!)

We wanted to go there bearing gifts so Michelle offered to solicit sports equipment donations from her softball team and the rest of athletics, while Anna quickly researched buying pencils for each student with our two names on them to demonstrate our unity. Without delay, Neil stepped up to organize the equipment we’d need to eventually create these gardens.

In the end, the main Project H.O.P.E. team that worked together for the rest of the year consisted of Michelle, Anna, Neil and myself. By late April of the following year, we had raised over $3000; completed the gardens (we built two-foot high stone garden walls which enclosed two large 9foot by 9foot garden plots); with the art skills of one of the moms, we created an enormous mural which covered an entire hallway; fixed up the playground; organized dozens of students, local community members, faculty and various student groups to participate in the work parties; and finally sent $1000 to Saint Clare School in Mississippi to help rebuild their school.

Throughout the many months of service work, we were sustained by the energy and enthusiasm of that first class that said, ‘hey, we need to DO this!” and that was a call that a few committed citizens could not ignore.
Thanks to all of you former students who still inspire me to this day!

Easy Ways to Explore the Wilderness Within

In the final component of the technology-free/nature journal assignment, I asked students to write about their experiences with the “wilderness within.” What is nice about this part of the assignment is that it can be done anywhere at any time. If it is cold or snowy or rainy outside, or you just don’t feel like heading outside, you can simply create a special spot somewhere inside. Maybe it’s seat with a nice view of the outside, maybe it is a clean corner of your bedroom; whatever works for you can be a pleasant contemplative spot indoors or out.

The questions I asked my students to write about in their journals concerning the Wilderness Within are ones you can ask yourself after spending any time in nature or a few quiet moments inside.

Here they are: What about your ‘spot’ invokes special appreciation in you? How does your body react after 20 minutes in nature or in quiet? How does your mind react? Explore your answer. What is your emotional reaction to spending time in nature or in quietude? Trace the changes in your emotional state over time. Does the weather/climate have an effect on your mood today? What kind of weather & what kind of effect. How does it feel to spend 20 minutes or so away from all technology? Do you miss it? Do you feel relieved? Investigate your reaction. Think about what you value in your life while in your ‘spot.’ Now think about what you actually spend the most time doing during the day. Do these lists match/overlap substantially? Explore your answer. How has spending time in nature changed you, if at all?

Just to give you a sense of some of the possible connections that can be made, here is a small sample of my students' “aha moments.”

Power of Nature: “I was in awe when I saw the (giant) willow tree and got to sit under it. I feel like it represents such strength & power and I love the indestructible feeling I feel when I sat under it….It was so relaxing and peaceful I feel like I could have fallen asleep…My spot captured my heart because I felt like I was being guarded by someone. I feel like nothing could hurt me at the time I was in my spot….I almost felt more confident and headstrong about life in my spot.”

God: “When I was in my spot, I just thought about God’s amazing ways to make something so big & powerful like a tree!”

While riding on the bus to a match at Juniata: “I was looking out my window and all I saw in the distance were mountain ranges among mountain ranges. They looked so strong and stable, tree covered and massive. I now understand why mountains represent strength, solitude, and stability for so many people throughout the world. Also, why the mountain pose is such a simplistic yet strong pose.”

The terrain in our own minds and bodies can mirror our experiences in life, so you can use these questions to get to know your inner landscape a little better and help you navigate the circumstances of life.

In Honor of Earth Day: four little lessons from a real earth hero

I was going to write today’s blog about the Wilderness Within (which will come tomorrow), until last night, when I saw my husband reading to his daughter before sleep. He had just come home from another jam-packed day at work, helped coach his son's little league team's first game, and finally had his "play-night" with his daughter.
I mean, I saw him, I really saw him for first time in a long time and realized here is a person who completely exemplifies “helping other people and the earth” and I get to live with him! Truly, I am in awe of what this man accomplishes and gives in the space of a single day.

My husband is the Director of the Campus Sustainability Office for Penn State (all 24 campuses). He is also an amazing dad of two school age children, a fantastic husband, a (soccer, basketball, baseball) coach, a friend, a son, a noon-time basketball player, amongst many other roles.

Since blogs are supposed to be short and pithy, I am going to extract just four little lessons from his life that make him a true hero, as well as true earth hero! In his life and work, he has embodied theses teachings:

1) Make Going Green fun: “Whoever has the most fun wins!”that has been our personal and professional motto for 15 years. We decided that for environmentalism to be successful we had to making going green as much fun or moreso than consuming. As much as possible, Erik uses stories, games, laughter, and especially humor to engage his many disparate audiences.
For example, amidst all the presentations he does for adults, he took time out recently to talk to all the first and second grade classes at Park Forest Elementary, including his daughter's class. He talked to them about how they can be Earth Heroes and save energy, water, and resources. In the midst of his talk, he had set his phone to ring so he could receive a pretend phone call from Mother Earth asking for their help! Needless to say, all the 6 and 7 year olds absolutely loved hearing from Her! And to this day when they see him up at the school, they ask about Mother Earth.

2) Make Going Green profitable: the whole impetus behind Erik getting his MBA (after being an Environmental Studies-Sociology double major) was because he knew (long before it became popular) that organizations and institutions were more likely to change if he could demonstrate for them an improvement in their fiscal bottom line as a result of going green. He went to graduate school, got the tools he needed to make his case, and has been doing so ever since.

3) “Family first”. Schedule play time with your kids: Wednesday night is playtime with his daughter; Friday night with his son. Erik has been upholding these weekly playdates with his children for years, and they eagerly look forward to it. Date your wife: spend time with her (buying gifts works well too). Coach or assistant coach, if you can. Erik’s example illustrate that loving his family isn’t just a feeling, it is a choice of how he spends his time.

4) Come from gratitude: This is his personal adage. He is the first to recognize & honor all those who have supported him over the years, including all the Grace that streams into his life to aid him in his endeavors. Even though he gets up every day at 5:30Am to do the part of his work that requires writing in solitude, he then makes time to meditate and be thankful.

Thank you Erik for being a true Earth Hero, and one who really does help other people and the earth! You are an inspiration!
Who is YOUR Earth Hero? HONOR the earth hero you know today!!

Three Simple Ways to Connect with Nature: finding your special spot

As children, many of us naturally adopted a ‘special spot’ somewhere outside where we felt peaceful or playful, or maybe it was place we went to when we needed a little solace. Throughout the years, I asked my students about their special childhood place. Nearly every student fondly recalled their ‘special spot.’ For me, my special spot consisted of playing in the creek that ran through my neighborhood and spending countless hours floating ‘leaf boats’ down the stream until my mother called me in for dinner.

In part 2 of the technology-free day assignment, students are asked to spend 6 separate occasions in nature, preferably finding for themselves a special spot. Each time, they need to spend a minimum of 20 minutes alone in nature, without the use of their cell phones, or iPods. They are also given journal questions: those that pertain to “Wilderness Without” and those that pertain to “Wilderness Within.”

Anyone can find a special spot. Families can enjoy time in nature and get to know their place at the same time. Students in a class of any age can also engage in this project.

Here are three easy ways to connect with nature:
1) Find your own special spot: a place that you like to go outside in nature, maybe it is simply in your own backyard; maybe your special spot is at a local park; maybe you are lucky and you can still visit your special childhood place.
2) Promise to go there once a week for the next several months and spend at least 20 minutes there.
3) Use the following questions to get to know your special spot and write down the answers in a nature journal. Wilderness Without Questions: How much sunlight does my ‘spot’ get? How does it look in the morning, afternoon, evening? Is there water in my ‘spot’? Take one day and track the source. Orient yourself in your ‘spot.’ Find north, east, south, and west. From which direction is the wind blowing? What kinds of sounds do you hear? Which ones are nearby? Which are further away? Are they all ‘natural’ noises? Describe the soil in your spot today. (i.e. crumbly, moist, dry, flaky). Are there trees in your ‘spot?’ Are they native trees. Are there any wildflowers? Do you see signs of animal life? Insect life? Describe them. Are there any edible plants, resident or migratory birds? What kinds of rocks are there?

How does this undertaking “help other people and the earth” you may wonder? Well, for one thing, it may help you and YOU are part of the earth, by giving you a place of peace and repose. And secondly, it helps us to get to know our place on this planet, and we are more likely to care for what we know and love.

Tommorow, you can learn the Wilderness Within questions!

The Technology-Free day experiment

“What?! A technology-free day? I did not get a vote in this!” is how my ten-year old son woke me up on Sunday for our technology-free day. Truthfully, our tech-free day consisted of no TV, no computer, and no cellphones. We still used a CD player, our land-line phone, and my mp-3 player for my first ‘run’ in nearly a decade.

Needless to say, my son was not very enthusiastic about technology-free day. He quickly warmed to the idea when we decided to play over an hour’s worth of Monopoly, but his enthusiasm waned in the afternoon when he realized we were not going to back off of our tech-free plans and he wanted to play computer games. Indeed, he was miserable about it.

My husband on the other hand was thrilled with the idea and could not stop extolling the benefits of the day. He happily “unplugged,” and put the Blackberry that he uses for work on a shelf until Monday morning. Time seemed to expand for him as he used it to go outside and double-dig half of our garden, preparing it for summer vegetables.

I pondered their dissimilar reactions and realized that a tech-free day is going to have different impacts on individuals depending on how much they use technology during the week, and the WAY they utilize it. For my husband, using communication tools is part of his job. He emails on his blackberry, occasionally looks things up on the web, and spends countless hours on the computer sending emails or creating presentation materials. By Friday, he is experiencing ‘communication overload.’

My son, on the other hand, gets comparatively very little “screen time”. During school, they do occasionally use laptops, to create their ‘zines for example. But at home, he plays computer games or Playstation about 5-6 hours per week. Otherwise, he is playing sports or running around outside or reading a book. For him, using the computer is a special treat, something to look forward, a variant activity that uses a disparate section of his brain. Not yet overloaded on Facebook and email, for him, playing computer games can actually be a mental reprieve.

I think there is a missing link here; the story is incomplete. In the original assignment for my Environmental Sociology students, they were asked to substitute their time using technology with time spent in nature and I think that experience in the natural world is the key to making a tech-free day really successful.
For instance, my husband used his tech-free time to dig in the garden. It wasn’t until my son went outside in the woods with his buddy that he forgot about tech-free day. There is something about putting the two pieces together that matters.
A lesson learned: next time we have a tech-free day, make sure we pair it with something fascinating in nature too.
Stay tuned: tomorrow, I will write about the rest of the assignment- exploring wilderness within.

Going tech-free for a day and having fun!

Finding Tranquility in Busy Times: technology-free days and an experiment in awareness
“My technology-free day was a nightmare,” exclaims one student at the very beginning of her final presentation on technology, nature, and her inner experiences of both. This exclamation has amused me so much that I have repeated it often through the day when describing this project to other students and colleagues at Saint Francis University, a small university tucked into the hills of the Allegheny mountains in central Pennsylvania. As part of the curriculum in my Environmental Sociology class, students are asked to journal on two different but related kinds of experiences: two technology-free days and 6 times in nature, in solitude without cell phones or iPods. Their reactions to these types of experiences are both startlingly profound and surprisingly life changing, but in actuality, life-enhancing. IN this blog entry, I will talk about their experiences with technology-free days. In another entry, I will write about their nature reflections.
For this assignment, I have given them some instruction, but I have left it up to them how they want to define a technology-free “day.” Knowing how addicted most of my undergraduate students are to their cell phones, laptops with Face book, and iPods, I am loathe to tell them how long they should go without such supports. Some students really stretch themselves and define a day as an actually day- from sun-up until after dinner. Others can only go so far as to define one hour as their ‘day.’ I ask them to consider the following questions and write about them in their journals.
Technology-Free Days
How does it feel to spend a day without technology? What effect does it have on your mood? Your mind? Your emotions?
What differences do you notice between a technology day & a technology-free day? Similarities? What are some things you like about a technology-free day & why? What did you not like and why?
How has being technology-free affected your social interactions? Explain.
Please describe any other observations.

In our culture, most of us have become dependent on communicatin technology in some form or another. And most of us have become dependent on that technology without being aware of how much we rely on it. For example, we text friends, we blog (!) and we ‘facebook’ (and create a new verb in the process). With college students, I am amazed, and secretly touched, by how often they call their parents. Many students claimed to call their parents every single day. Others said they called their parents, usually their mom, between each & every class. Some students complained about missing meetings or practices without technology (apparently, their schedule changes each day & this is how they are informed).
On the other hand, I am also dismayed by how much computer interaction has replaced face-to-face interaction with college-age students who live right down the hall from each. They report to me that they might IM their friend, rather than simply walk down the hall to say hi.

I have used this assignment for hundreds of students over several years in dozens of classes. I am always amazed by the insightful awareness this simple exercise brings to them about their social interaction and their lifestyle.
The following are a SELECT FEW of their personal reactions:
Being Present: In a day without technology, you are completely concentrated on what you are doing & who you are with. You have no distractions to take you away from that place. My mind was into what I was doing.
Becoming more social: “this activity made me more social because in order to see what time to go to dinner and the time I had to go up to people and ask them instead of texting them or instant message. I also notice(d) how beautiful this campus really is”
‘Technology-free days (have) improved my social interactions. I engage in more conversations with my friends & girls in my dorm than just sitting in the room talking on instant message and through texting. Talking face to face with people is more personal than just sending IMs and texts
Waste of Time: “Ultimately, it wastes my time. The thought crossed my mind, ‘What do I really get accomplished with using technology?’”
Addiction to technology: During a 7.5 hour bus ride to her basketball match, without technology, “I didn’t think I was going to make it. When we stopped at our first rest stop, I was tempted to ask the bus driver to open the bottom of the bus, but instead my teammate encouraged me and I decided not to. When we got to the hotel, I immediately reached in my book bag for my phone because I really wanted to see my missed calls, text messages, and voicemails. I felt like a drug addict. I realized how obsessed I was with my cell phone.”
(without my phone), I did not know what to do with myself. I felt like I was going crazy. It definitely mixed my emotions up and had me feeling sad at some points, but then again happy because I accomplished not using my devices on the bus.”
Spending time with family: Ons student extended the Tech-free day to her family: “As I was sitting in the living room yesterday, the phone rang. I glanced up and looked at our television. Our caller id comes up in every TV in the house. Just as I looked back down at my laptop, my sister instant-messaged me and asked who was calling. It was that moment that I realized how severely dependent my family is on modern technology. Later that night, I told my mother the story. She knows that my sister & I live in separate rooms and just message each other if we need something. So I asked her if for one night, the four of us could do something as a group. She thought this was a great idea!
They went on to play 2 games of SORRY and 1 game of SCATTERGORIES. “To our surprise, we had fun…..Who knows! Maybe this will become our new tradition!”
On Sundays, our family usually engages in on our own technology-free day! We had gotten aware from the practice, even though we love what games and entertainment emerge on that day. But tomorrow, we are re-committing to the practice in honor of Earth Day. We will save electricity and have some fun with each at the same time!

Sustainability and You: a kid's perspective

Today on Sustainability Now Radio, join host Peter Buckland as he interviews principal Donnan Stoicovy and teachers and students from the Park Forest Elementary School
How do you teach environmental intelligence and an ethic of environmental care?
Join Rainier Foley-DeFiore in the 5th grade and his teachers from Park Forest Elementary as they try to answer this questions from many perspectives, including gaining the wisdom from "the mouths of babes." The radio show that brings global and local sustainability issues to central Pennsylvania. Every Friday from 4 to 5 pm on TheLion.fm 90.7fm WKPS.

The Great Bread Exchange

When I first moved to Seattle in 1996, I had no idea how daunting it would be to move to an enormous city, 3000 miles from home, and not know a soul. I found a wonderful little one-bedroom bungalow with a spectacular view of the Mt. Rainier and all the Cascade Mountains. This stunning view of nature was truly solace for my soul; however, I longed to have some friendships as well.
So.... I started baking bread: zucchini bread, banana bread, French baguettes, you name it.
I could not wait for the neighbors to welcome me, which might not ever happen in a large anonymous city like Seattle. Instead, every few days, I knocked on a new door and made a new acquaintance. I made my first real friend in Seattle this way, a single mom who lived across the street from me.
I also got to know two of the most interesting women I would ever meet. Two of my neighbors were elderly African American women who lived side by side. One of them, it turns out, was an original Rosie the Riveter. She came all the way to Seattle from the South during World War II to become a welder for the war effort, and never left. Later, she raised her family there.
I visited with these two women regularly and hearing their stories about leaving their homes so far away and making a new life in Seattle made me feel more confident about my own choices. I also got to taste and enjoy some of their bread recipes.
Now, I am not saying it was easy to go door to door with my meager offering of homemade bread. On the contrary, before each outing, I had to ready myself with lots of deep bracing and a little pep talk. But, in the end we all benefited from the great bread exchange: I got to meet my neighbors and make friends, they got to share their stories from their past, and we all got to eat some yummy bread!