The Mother's Day Report Card: Acknowledging Invisible Labor

This spring, I watched with great pride and admiration as my children brought home stellar reports cards and received glowing remarks from their teachers; my husband received the same during his annual review at work. I am a stay-at-home mom now, after 14 years as a sociology professor, and I thought, “Where is my report card? When do mothers get evaluated and their good work acknowledged?”

So, this year for Mother’s Day, I have asked my family to make me a report card, to literally create one on the computer with all the pertinent categories (outlined below) and then give me some grade and a narrative report (I want the real deal!). Just coming up with the myriad categories for them to use was an instructive exercise for me; even I was unaware how much invisible labor I accomplish on a daily or weekly basis.

In any given family (or community or organization), it is wise to consider what works needs to get done for the household to run well and then divide it up fairly amongst family members. It seems best to play on people’s strengths and utilize their particular talents. This method works to some extent, but there is always a residual category that is called invisible labor, which includes repetitive tasks that are unpaid, usually undervalued, and most often done by women. Invisible labor is denoted as such because it goes largely unnoticed by those who benefit most from it. Invisible labor also includes mental and emotional work, which are inherently obscured.

Here is a list of examples of invisible labor: Remembering to make (and keep) doctor, dentist, eye doctor, and veterinary appointments for each member of the family; Arranging for playdates for children, and making time to get to know the parents/mothers of said playdates; Remembering that the car/van inspection is due this month and scheduling the appointment; Buying thank-you cards for teachers, grandparents, etc and then supervising children actually writing those thank you cards; Noticing that the cable bill is wrong and spending 25 minutes on hold waiting to talk to the cable company; Keeping up correspondence with out of town extended family members (sending out photos of kids; alternatively, updating the family blog); Reminding the children to take their vitamins, allergy medicine, etc; Sensing that something is wrong with your children at school, and spending an afternoon or two trying to figure out what it is.

Invisible labor alone deserves its own report card; the women who do invisible labor deserve to brought into the light and their work openly acknowledged as a important part of the running of any household (or any organization for that matter). Imagine for a minute what would happen if all the mothers in the world or women in general ceased- even for just ONE day- doing all their hidden tasks? I do not think it is too drastic to say that some households, communities, and organizations might literally stop functioning.

So, if you choose to make you mom a Mother’s Day Report card, here are some categories to consider (not in any particular order). Each category carries with it some invisible labor.
A) Food-related: cooking, grocery shopping, lunch-making or remembering to update lunch money at school.
B) Housecleaning: vacuum, dust, bathrooms, kitchen, basement, etc. etc.
C) Laundry: washing, putting away, changing sheets regularly.
D) Outside: gardening, growing food, herbs, flowers.
E) Health: scheduling doctor/dentist/eye doctor visits; taking children to them, scheduling exercise for family, cooking whole foods.
F) Stuff: buying household stuff (i.e. clothes for kids, towels for the bathroom), getting rid of stuff (i.e. organizing yard sales), cleaning out stuff.
G) Community Work: scheduling playdates, dinners with other families, making phone calls.
H) Activities: children’s sports, activities, family events, birthday parties.
I) Repairs: household, autos, items.
J) Vehicles: repair, maintenance, filling with gasoline.
K) Love: snuggling, reading books, playing catch.
L) Other: things that only your mother does.

Honor your mom or the women in your life today with a glowing report card! Better yet, decide which chores you can take over for her this year!