small sacrifices

Much of parenting young children and teens is made up of small sacrifices: forgoing minutes or hours of sleep when they are babies; forfeiting time and treasure to support their interests; disadvantaging our agenda to deeply listen to and attend to their needs. Sometimes, the requirement is small; other times, a complete surrender of self is called for. There is no promised moment of acknowledgment where the reward or pay-off is felt. Rather, child-rearing is more akin to becoming what ecologist call a ‘nurse log.’

As a parent-nurse log, you lay down and surrender, so that new life is sourced. When a nursing log falls down, it allows more light to emanate into the space where it once stood. If accomplished, as you fall, you illuminate more; as you decay, you bestow an unending and ample supply of nutrients and energy so that new saplings can form and mature to their intended height and beauty.  Interestingly, when a tree is standing only about 5% of it is living material.  But when it falls, it transforms completely from a tree to a log. The tree resurrects into a fresh life and now contains 5 times as much living matter than before. (National Public Radio station KUOW, 3/21/2012).  The tree is utterly altered into beautiful, rich, organic material--- ready to spawn a new generation through the sacrifice of its body.

Nurse logs not only give water and nutrients, but they offer disease protection.  An article in Nature, (2010, Volume 466, pp. 752-755) reveals that soil pathogens in certain forest communities are hostile to a specific tree species. These disease-producing microorganisms appear to congregate in the neighborhood of that species, and may impede seedling growth. Nurse logs provide a protective barrier from these pathogens, and increase seedling survivorship.  How Joyous! We both nurture and protect.

Over time, the new younger trees start growing larger than the nurse log and nothing of the old tree is left. It loses all of its original “definition,” it’s body. Finally, the nurse log is completely gone, leaving only the roots that were once wound around and through the nurse log.  Last year, overnight, I left my job, my home, my community because my daughter was gravely ill. She spent a total of 4 months in a hospital in far away cities. I left my job so quickly that my computer was still on when I returned 4 months later....completely changed, completely emptied for the cause.

According to naturalist Larry Daloz of Whidbey Island, WA: "One thing I think about when I look at a nurse log like this is that after it falls, the soil it leaves behind is much richer than what was there before, and maybe that would be a great way to live. May our legacy that we leave behind be richer than what we found when we came." (NPR station KUOW). 

And that is humbling as a parent.  My daughter's life is much richer now; she is stronger, braver, lighter, her laugh is true and deep.

And that is why we make the steady stream of small sacrifices.

Easy Ways to Explore the Wilderness Within

In the final component of the technology-free/nature journal assignment, I asked students to write about their experiences with the “wilderness within.” What is nice about this part of the assignment is that it can be done anywhere at any time. If it is cold or snowy or rainy outside, or you just don’t feel like heading outside, you can simply create a special spot somewhere inside. Maybe it’s seat with a nice view of the outside, maybe it is a clean corner of your bedroom; whatever works for you can be a pleasant contemplative spot indoors or out.

The questions I asked my students to write about in their journals concerning the Wilderness Within are ones you can ask yourself after spending any time in nature or a few quiet moments inside.

Here they are: What about your ‘spot’ invokes special appreciation in you? How does your body react after 20 minutes in nature or in quiet? How does your mind react? Explore your answer. What is your emotional reaction to spending time in nature or in quietude? Trace the changes in your emotional state over time. Does the weather/climate have an effect on your mood today? What kind of weather & what kind of effect. How does it feel to spend 20 minutes or so away from all technology? Do you miss it? Do you feel relieved? Investigate your reaction. Think about what you value in your life while in your ‘spot.’ Now think about what you actually spend the most time doing during the day. Do these lists match/overlap substantially? Explore your answer. How has spending time in nature changed you, if at all?

Just to give you a sense of some of the possible connections that can be made, here is a small sample of my students' “aha moments.”

Power of Nature: “I was in awe when I saw the (giant) willow tree and got to sit under it. I feel like it represents such strength & power and I love the indestructible feeling I feel when I sat under it….It was so relaxing and peaceful I feel like I could have fallen asleep…My spot captured my heart because I felt like I was being guarded by someone. I feel like nothing could hurt me at the time I was in my spot….I almost felt more confident and headstrong about life in my spot.”

God: “When I was in my spot, I just thought about God’s amazing ways to make something so big & powerful like a tree!”

While riding on the bus to a match at Juniata: “I was looking out my window and all I saw in the distance were mountain ranges among mountain ranges. They looked so strong and stable, tree covered and massive. I now understand why mountains represent strength, solitude, and stability for so many people throughout the world. Also, why the mountain pose is such a simplistic yet strong pose.”

The terrain in our own minds and bodies can mirror our experiences in life, so you can use these questions to get to know your inner landscape a little better and help you navigate the circumstances of life.

Three Simple Ways to Connect with Nature: finding your special spot

As children, many of us naturally adopted a ‘special spot’ somewhere outside where we felt peaceful or playful, or maybe it was place we went to when we needed a little solace. Throughout the years, I asked my students about their special childhood place. Nearly every student fondly recalled their ‘special spot.’ For me, my special spot consisted of playing in the creek that ran through my neighborhood and spending countless hours floating ‘leaf boats’ down the stream until my mother called me in for dinner.

In part 2 of the technology-free day assignment, students are asked to spend 6 separate occasions in nature, preferably finding for themselves a special spot. Each time, they need to spend a minimum of 20 minutes alone in nature, without the use of their cell phones, or iPods. They are also given journal questions: those that pertain to “Wilderness Without” and those that pertain to “Wilderness Within.”

Anyone can find a special spot. Families can enjoy time in nature and get to know their place at the same time. Students in a class of any age can also engage in this project.

Here are three easy ways to connect with nature:
1) Find your own special spot: a place that you like to go outside in nature, maybe it is simply in your own backyard; maybe your special spot is at a local park; maybe you are lucky and you can still visit your special childhood place.
2) Promise to go there once a week for the next several months and spend at least 20 minutes there.
3) Use the following questions to get to know your special spot and write down the answers in a nature journal. Wilderness Without Questions: How much sunlight does my ‘spot’ get? How does it look in the morning, afternoon, evening? Is there water in my ‘spot’? Take one day and track the source. Orient yourself in your ‘spot.’ Find north, east, south, and west. From which direction is the wind blowing? What kinds of sounds do you hear? Which ones are nearby? Which are further away? Are they all ‘natural’ noises? Describe the soil in your spot today. (i.e. crumbly, moist, dry, flaky). Are there trees in your ‘spot?’ Are they native trees. Are there any wildflowers? Do you see signs of animal life? Insect life? Describe them. Are there any edible plants, resident or migratory birds? What kinds of rocks are there?

How does this undertaking “help other people and the earth” you may wonder? Well, for one thing, it may help you and YOU are part of the earth, by giving you a place of peace and repose. And secondly, it helps us to get to know our place on this planet, and we are more likely to care for what we know and love.

Tommorow, you can learn the Wilderness Within questions!